A Broken Heart

Lately all I've been hearing from friends is boy problems and how hung up they are over them. I was in their shoes a few years ago, madly in love with this person who at the end broke my heart. He was the one who chased me, even when I said no, the one who charmed his way into my life, and before I knew it he stole my heart. I should of read the signs from the beginning and listened to my gut, but there was something about him that kept me there. There were a lot of personal issues going on at the time when him and I got together. He knew of my situation and seemed supportive at the time, down the line I realized there were so many things that were hidden from me and that he was not understanding of my situation and the support of my family wasn't like the support he had with his family. All of this was starting to unfold towards the end of our relationship, I tried to repair what we had left and when I saw there was nothing in return and was given the cold shoulder, my heart shattered and my world came crashing down. Before it all ended I saw there was a new guy in the picture, but they kept it "friendly" a week later after the break up, he was posting that he was in love with this person. Seriously no joke a week and he was in a relationship with someone else he meet online and saying he was madly in love. It goes to show that he was young and stupid and had no clue what LOVE really is. Being with him brought out an ugly side of me, jealously, anger, and hate. I can't say that he was a complete ass, and that we didn't have good times, because we did. He was always the one taking me out, we would go to each others family and friends gatherings and sex was great, it was as if we were married. Come to think of it, we did talk about moving in together, thinking it would probably make our lives a whole lot easier and our relationship stronger. WE WERE WRONG! After all the pain and anger subsided I realized he was not the right person for me, no balls to tell me he was over the relationship, he was about lies, secrets, a follower, needy, couldn't think for himself and was easily influenced by others. I don't regret being in that relationship, just because I learned so much about myself and also not to put my life on hold for a guy. I can't say that I would ever speak to him if we were to ever come across each other because of the way things ended. 

What I took from that relationship was, if theres a problem and a trust issue from the beginning then that relationship isn't going to last. There's no reason to invest on something, when surely you know isn't going to end well. As much as you may like this person in the beginning, is it really worth going through all the drama and heart break? No it isn't! What I've learned now even with a recent break up is, I just need to be by myself until I am where I want to be in life. I'm not saying that I would totally rule out dating, but this person has to have either a career already going, or working hard to get where he wants to be in life. I can't be in a needy relationship where it's always about the other person and not about me. After healing from the break up, my heart and views about relationships have changed. We are all human and yes we do get sad over a break up, but there's no reason to dwell over it. Move on and don't lose hope that you will find your prince charming. We go through so many relationships and breakups, so that we know how to handle a problem and move pass that. We're so worried about having someone special in our lives, that we don't see that in order to make something work, we need to be happy with ourselves and not think that someone is going to make us happy and complete. So what if you're single, work on yourself and don't depend on someone to define who you are. 

My advice to anyone who is going through a rough patch in their relationship is to try and make it work, always go with what your gut tells you because it's always right. Don't waste your time wondering if he's thinking of you, or what he maybe up to. If he's not calling you, if you have no clue what he's up to. If he's doing his thing, then he's not worried about you and obviously he has other things in mind, and you are not his priority. Don't ever let them play you because at the end of the day they get what they want and they go on to the next. Don't ever make it just about him, but make it about you and your needs. If he's not willing to work it out, or he's finding a easy way out, don't waste your time on a fool. When we least expect it, we find the person we're meant to be with, there's no reason to rush into a relationship, it's ok to be single especially when you're young. Enjoy what life has to offer, but also remember don't let the one slip away. 

Religion / Politics / Sexuality

Religion politics and sexuality are always hard topics to discuss, and what better way to express my opinion without getting interrupted, but by blogging of course.

Religion... At this point in my life I don't follow any religion, but I do believe in God. Coming from a christian family it's hard not to believe in God. Although I don't really believe in a lot of what the bible says, due to the fact that it was written by man and claiming that God wrote the bible. How do we know for a fact that what the bible says is entirely true? If we look at the bible you can see that they used metaphors, there are timelines missing, and a lot of the Jewish rituals were taken to a whole another level. The way I see it, we need to be more open minded to religion, and not think that one is greater then the other. Its like saying being white is better then being a person of color, it just sounds stupid. If God wanted us to be a certain way, then he would of made us all look the same. I don't see why people are so fixed on trying to convert other people in such a negative way, through fear and judgement. We all have a purpose in life and a calling, but only God knows when its your time. At the end of the day if you look at it this way all religions have a very similar concept. Its about love, being a good person, helping one another, and being right with the higher power. So much culture and beliefs who's to say which one is the right one. I know where I stand with God and thats all that matters, Why be a hypocrite, go to church pretend as if you're there for God, and when actually you're thinking about the person you hooked up with the night before. I feel that if you go to church its because you feel it in your heart, not because you were force to go. Although I believe in God and all that good stuff, I also have an open mind to these theories and studies about the bible and the stories in it. The link below is just one of the theories and studies that explains my views better then I do.

Secrets of Revelation

http://video.nationalgeographic.com/video/player/national-geographic-channel/full-episodes/mysteries-of-the-bible-1/ngc-secrets-of-revelation.html

There are other videos down below to watch as well in that link.

I'm not one to talk about politics at all and don't really have much to say about it. But the way I see it, the ones running the show are the ones who have the last say in it, and what they say goes. The rich get richer, the poor get poorer.

Sexuality has become such a big thing over the past few years its crazy. Its so weird how people care about who you sleep with. Does it really matter weather I like dick or pussy? um NO! Sex is sex and we should be free to sleep with whomever we like. I really dislike when people ask how can  two guys or two girls have sex, SAME WAY YOU FUCK YOUR BF OR GF! You don't have to be gay in order to understand what it feels like to be attracted to what you like. Although I have to say that sexuality has gotten out of control, with all this queer, gender bending, shemale, crazy sex lol! NOT JUDGING just saying... I love men and always have, there's just something about a guy's smell, touch, voice, ass and dick that drives me crazy. I have to say the last guy I was with had me dicknotized, and had me staying in the relationship because it was that good (^_^). Before him I was always a top and damn I have to say being a bottom isn't as bad as I thought it would be. Then again I was really digging him so I'm sure that made it easier with the pain and all that good stuff (O_0). I've meet my share of open minded straight men in my life, but not to where he could actually be comfortable enough to talk about gay sex. It's always a short topic, but a big topic when it's about girls. I guess it's like being a girl wishing that guys would be more understanding and sweeter. I have to say that hooking up with straight guys is always fun, well at least it was for me back in the day. Like they say boys will be boys, its like when 2 straight guy friends jerk it next to each other to porn, or two girls kissing at the club to get attention. Sex is fun especially when you get what you want, and we're young why not have harmless fun. One thing that I really don't see eye to eye is when you're in a relationship and you want to be crazy and sleep with everyone. I understand open relationships and it works for some people, but when you're not and the other person has no clue of the shadiness you are pulling, that to me is plain and simple, a douche bag with no respect for the person they're with. If sex is all you wanted, why play them and lead them to believe its more then sex, people are more open to say ok lets do this, lets get down and move it along. At the end of the day just be honest, have fun, be safe, and handle whatever you like to do (^_^).

Leave comments and I will respond back, I would love to read your opinion on this post.